Phil Preston on the price of fame

No pearls of marketing wisdom from me this month (are there ever) but should you be looking for a celebrity product endorsement then read on.

If you are one of the three people who have read my blog before then you’ll know that one of my hobbies is dancing; of the ballroom and Latin American variety. I hasten to add that I do not do this on my own - that would be very sad. Fortunately my wife is a willing, although sometimes rather perplexed dance partner.

We have recently returned from yet another cruise holiday where we had ample opportunity to dance our little socks off to no less than three live bands playing anything and everything; from the Great American Songbook through to the odd Caribbean Calypso.

This variety of music enabled us to practice most of our repertoire included the Swing Jive and Lindy-Hop, the Cha Cha Cha and the Waltz. Late one afternoon we even threw in a quick-step to When the Saints Come Marching In – fortunately we were the only dancers on the floor for this one; otherwise we would have caused a major collision. We were hurtling across the dance floor like an express train with no brakes.

It turned out that we were one of only a few couples on the ship who could dance properly (there were many others who jiggled around a bit to ABBA’s Dancing Queen, not to mention Village People’s YMCA) and we probably had the largest range of dance styles, which unfortunately made us stand out from the crowd.

I say unfortunately because the end result was that we became mini-celebrities, which I personally found unsettling as my usual modus operandi when it comes to socialising is to sit quietly in a corner and remain largely anonymous. We must have had a dozen people approach us saying how much they enjoyed our dancing and that we looked like we were having fun.

On closer analysis of the demographics of our fan-base, it turned out that they were all middle-aged women who yearned to be able to dance themselves but whose husbands could not be persuaded to partner them.

So has this opened up a new career opportunity for me as a Cruise Companion for lonely old ladies who fancy a twirl or two? Maybe, but more immediately I am available for product launches and endorsements, as long as it doesn’t involve wearing sequins.

How much is the price of fame – about £2.50 per hour I’d say, but I’m prepared to negotiate